


trying to forget the flames

by Chillykins



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Seisen no Keifu | Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War
Genre: Coping, F/F, battle of belhalla mentions so vague mentions of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:33:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28323882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chillykins/pseuds/Chillykins
Summary: After Erinys rescues Silvia at the Battle of Belhalla, both try to deal with the initial trauma.
Relationships: Ferry | Erinys/Silvia
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5
Collections: Nagamas Gifts





	trying to forget the flames

**Author's Note:**

> happy holidays, everyone! this is my nagamas gift for twitter user hardkourparcore -- i hope you (and everyone else reading this) like the story O: the prompt given was silvia/erinys and "let the girls cope!"
> 
> my twitter: @longestyeehaw / tumblr: @mistletoemahone

Everything had happened so fast. One moment they’re an army basking in victory, and the next, they’re burning. Erinys isn’t even sure if she can call the group an army now, as there’s no denying that some of her companions are dead. She speeds up into the sky on her pegasus to avoid joining those ranks herself. It will be easy for her to simply flee the scene, but leaving people behind isn’t in her nature.

She circles above the carnage, careful to avoid the meteors as they continue to fall. Her eyes search for a familiar green head of hair. What will become of Silesse’s future if their prince dies here? It’s difficult to see through the smoke, but she can just make out some figures running away. None have Lewyn’s hair, though it is comforting -- as much comfort as she can take in this situation -- that she won’t be the only survivor.

Eventually, Erinys loses sight of movement. No one more runs for safety, and she can’t see anyone stirring in the midst of the flames. She’s about to leave when a flash of green catches her eye. Lewyn? Without hesitation, she speeds to the ground. She’ll have to work quickly to avoid catching a meteor herself.

Even before she lands she can tell it’s not her prince. The hair is longer, the figure smaller. It’s Silvia. Erinys isn’t about to condemn her to death for not being Lewyn, and that's even without taking into consideration the days of battle and nights of talking and light touches they've shared lately.

“Silvia,” she shouts as she closes in. “Climb on!”

Trembling, Silvia raises her head. A shape is speeding towards her. For a moment, she doesn’t comprehend the call and shrinks back. The only objects falling from the sky are the ones bringing death. But then the familiarity of the voice sinks in. It’s Erinys coming to her aid, not a meteor aiming to cut her life short. 

Standing, Silvia readies to jump on the pegasus as soon as it’s close enough. She’s never flown before. There’s a first time for everything, though she wishes the circumstances could be different. In her peripheral vision, another meteor strikes. If the mages see Erinys swooping in, they’ll surely target her. They’ll target them. There’s no time to waste.

With the strength in her legs built up from spending so much time on her feet, Silvia leaps up. Her arms reach for the pegasus’ back. She can’t get a grip -- she’s misjudged its speed. She won’t have far to drop if she falls, but Erinys may not have the chance to make a second pass. Will the world truly give her such hope only to take it away?

Erinys turns around and grasps one of Silvia’s arms. She tugs, trusting her pegasus to take them away while she secures their passenger. Silvia isn’t much smaller than she is, but with desperation running through their veins, both work to settle Silvia in position. She wraps her arms around Erinys’ waist as the pegasus shoots back up above the smoke. It’s as much a hug of thanks as it is to ensure she doesn’t fall off.

“You saved me,” Silvia says.

“Yes.”

“How am I supposed to thank you? I don’t think there’s a dance special enough for that.”

“Just gratitude is fine.”

Silvia presses her head against Erinys’ back. “Thank you.”

“Of course.”

There are a couple of close calls with lingering meteors, but it doesn’t take long before they leave the graveyard behind them. Neither look back. There’s nothing to see.

“Where are we going?” Silvia asks.

“Somewhere safe.” Is anywhere safe? Erinys isn’t sure. Surely, though, there are places safer than here. “Somewhere far from there.”

She’d love to travel deep into the night, but her pegasus will soon grow weary. He had fought hard up until Belhalla, and with the acrobatics to avoid the spells on top of the quick rescue, he won’t be able to continue much longer. It takes her a second to recognize her own exhaustion, both mental and physical. 

Erinys no longer has her prince. She no longer has a commander, as there’s no chance Sigurd had survived. She doesn’t even have the same amount of people with her as she’d had when she first arrived with the other pegasus knights.

But...she’s not alone. She has Silvia, and that matters. The dancer’s steady presence at her back keeps Erinys focused. After nearly an hour of flight, she begins to search for somewhere to land. Most of the landscape is flat and open. Not ideal for shelter, but given the circumstances, she’s not going to be picky. She spots an area close to some woods and water and guides her pegasus down.

“This should be fine for the night,” she says.

“Okay,” Silvia says. “I trust you.”

“We’ll need a fire to stay warm.”

It’s the last thing either of them want to see, but the nights this time of year are cold. Disturbing memories are the price they’ll have to pay in order to not freeze. Once the pegasus touches the ground, both hop down. Silvia’s legs shake beneath her. She can’t help but sink to the grass. 

Erinys feels the same pull to collapse. Instead, she forces herself to gather wood and dry moss from the bordering trees. When she returns, Silvia is still seated in the same place. She breaks from a sort of trance when Erinys sets the wood down in front of her. Remembering the survival lessons from Annand, Erinys sets the moss on top of some of the smaller sticks. Once it gets dark, she’ll just need to strategically rub larger sticks together to start the campfire.

Until then...she’s not sure what they’ll do until then. And judging by Silvia’s silence, she’s not sure either. Erinys busies herself with checking on her pegasus as Silvia sways from side to side, as if dancing while sitting down. Eventually, the sun begins to set. The cold won’t set in for a while yet, but Erinys starts their fire for something to do. Both edge away from the flames. It’s impossible to ignore what they meant not long ago. Those thoughts keep their appetite away.

“I’m going to sleep,” Silvia says. It feels normal to speak of a routine.

Erinys grips her lance a little tighter. “I’ll keep watch. I don’t expect any guests, but we are out in the open.”

Comforted at the idea of someone watching over her, Silvia lays down. It doesn’t take long for her to drift off, her earlier-unnoticed exhaustion pressing in on her.

* * *

_Warmth radiates around Silvia in every direction. Flames shoot up as a meteor hits not far in front of her. She’s under attack. They’re all under attack. She can’t see any of her companions, so perhaps they’ve already fled. But how can they when they’re standing in the midst of an apocalypse? Maybe they’re all dead and she’s next --_

_Wait, this has already happened. She remembers this. What comes next. Erinys will swoop down on her pegasus and carry her away to safety._

_Erinys will save her, because she’s done it before._

_Erinys will come any moment now._

_Erinys...isn’t coming._

_Another meteor lands just feet away from Silvia. The heat hits her like a physical blow, and she staggers back. If Erinys isn’t coming, then she’ll have to save herself. It’s just a dream, after all. She’ll find some way to wake up. But it’s difficult to keep telling herself she’s asleep when everything feels so_ real _. The sudden resurgence of her companions’ screams, the shaking of the earth with every impact, the smoke burning her eyes and nose._

_A bright flash catches her attention. She glances up. And all she can do is watch as the meteor speeds directly at her, leaving no time for her reflexes to kick in. It comes closer. And closer. And --_

“Silvia, wake up.”

Something grips her shoulder. Still half in the nightmare, Silvia cries out, expecting the area to erupt any moment in agony from the meteor’s impact. But when there’s a gentle touch to her arm, her eyes open. She gazes into Erinys’ concerned eyes. The warm light is from the controlled campfire they lit earlier. There’s no screaming or smell of her friends burning.

She’s safe.

“Are you okay?” Erinys asks.

There’s a wetness on Silvia’s cheeks. She touches the spot and realizes that she’s been crying. With a sniff, she wipes the tears away. That’s likely all the answer Erinys needs, yet Silvia can’t bring herself to stay quiet. She needs to drown out the dream and there’s no better way to do it than talk. Well, other than dancing, but she’s still too shaken up to consider it. Perhaps once she stops trembling.

“I had a nightmare,” she says. “About what happened. I guess it was stupid of me to think that I’d be able to sleep.”

Erinys shakes her head. “It wasn’t stupid. Actually, I think it was brave.”

“Brave?” Silvia repeats. Though they’ve grown closer over the past months -- how could they not, with all they’ve gone through? -- it’s hard to believe that Erinys is complimenting her like some warrior on the front lines. Like she is on her pegasus. “I don’t know about that.”

“I’m staying up to keep watch, but I’m also scared of dreaming about what we left behind. I wasn’t even in the thick of it like you.”

Whether her attempt had been brave or not, Silvia isn’t anxious to return to sleep any time soon. “I don’t know if that’s right, but thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

They sit in silence. Their fire crackles every so often to break the quiet, but neither knows what more to say. What can they say? Thinking of simply discussing what they’ve seen churns their stomachs. Silvia’s gaze darts around the makeshift campsite for something to focus on. She winds up staring at Erinys. The pegasus knight always seems so serious and determined. Even now, despite the distant expression, there’s still a strength like a tree in a storm. Can she remain standing, or will she be torn from the soil?

“I’m going to dance,” Silvia says finally. Erinys may show resilience in remaining stationary, but Silvia is built to move. “You should too.”

“Me? I don’t know how to dance. Not like...”

“Not like me?”

Erinys nods. “I mean no offense.”

Silvia stands and pulls Erinys to her feet over her protests. “Well, that’s because no one can dance like me. But any kind of dancing is good. Don’t people say that you pegasus knights dance in the sky?”

“Yes, they do, but I don’t think that’s the same thing.”

“It’s good enough. Just...let your mind go blank and move however you want.”

Erinys glances at the ground. Her ideal move is to sit back down and leave the dancing to the dancer.

“Come on,” Silvia urges. “It’ll make you feel better.”

“I’m fine.” The tension in her voice says otherwise.

Grabbing Erinys’ wrists, Silvia moves their arms from side to side. There aren’t any instruments, but that’s never bothered her. The only music that matters is what she can feel in her bones. What’s called her to dance for as long as she can remember. The man that raised her led her to the role, but she’d embraced it with her entire being. It feels as right as the events at Belhalla feel wrong.

The memories push at her. As Erinys hasn’t pulled away, Silvia takes their dance a step further by moving backwards and forwards. Erinys mirrors the movements so she doesn’t stumble. It’s not the dancing Silvia is used to, but it’s not often she has a partner, let alone one so inexperienced.

Erinys finds herself beginning to anticipate Silvia’s moves. Perhaps dancing isn’t so difficult after all. The motions on the ground control Erinys in the same way that simple nudges of her pegasus’ flanks control the flight. Without thinking, she adds in some of her own flair. A bend of the knees here, a twist of the chest there…

It takes her several seconds to realize that Silvia is no longer guiding her. As soon as Silvia had noticed Erinys finding the rhythm, she’d stepped back to fully feel her own. Rather than falter, Erinys continues to sway. Her movements are uncertain and a little clipped, but she’s beginning to understand what Silvia finds in the activity. After all, how many times has Erinys taken her pegasus for a ride to clear her thoughts?

Stretching her arms into the air, Silvia spins, skirt flowing around her. It’s been some time since she’s had the goal of cheering herself up instead of an ally. The lesson had been to boost Erinys, but this dance, these leaps and twirls and kicks, is all for Silvia. She’d danced her way through her abusive childhood, and she’ll dance her way through the memories of seeing friends burned alive.

And she has Erinys with her. As a child, Silvia had no one but herself. The dancing had been enough to carry her, but now it doesn’t have to be. She isn’t alone. However long the nightmares stay, however deep the scars of Belhalla go, there’s someone to share them with. Just like how Erinys is sharing the dance.

“Look at you go,” Silvia compliments as Erinys moves her arm in an arc, as if tracing a flight path through the stars. “You’re learning fast.”

“If you say so.” Erinys sounds doubtful, but there’s a small smile on her face. “It’s harder to find instinct when I’m not in the air.”

“As long as you’re moving, that’s all that matters.”

As long as they’re beating back the despair, they’re taking the steps on the path to move on. There will be times to feel the grief and anger and confusion. The sudden and extreme loss. It’s not about ignoring the feelings -- it’s about living despite them.

Between the exercise and doing it so close to the fire, both work up a sweat. Erinys sits first. It’s difficult to be too hot in the sky, when there’s always a breeze in her hair. She watches as Silvia continues to dance. Seeing her look so full of life brings warmth to Erinys’ heart. It’s no wonder villagers always react favorably when the dancer arrives at their house. Silvia had been right: dancing helps.

“Phew,” Silvia breathes, sitting. “That was a long one.”

“It was beautiful.”

The pinkness in Silvia’s cheeks is no longer just from exertion. “Thanks. You weren’t so bad yourself.”

“I understand what you were saying earlier. Dancing is like a celebration of being alive.”

Neither of them point out the obvious. 

“That’s a good way to put it.”

“I’m glad you suggested it. I don’t think I would’ve done anything but stare into the fire.”

“Well, sometimes staring into the fire is the right thing to do. Other times it’s just letting everything go.”

After a beat, Erinys admits, “I wish it was always that simple.”

Silvia looks away. “Me too.”

Now that the activity is over, reality begins to sink in once more. They’ve survived a tragedy and now they must cope. There aren’t many consolations to take from the situation. But as they stare at each other across the fire, they know one. Whether it’s through dancing or sitting or whatever is in their future, they’ll find a way to live on together. 


End file.
